An Objective Self-Analysis?

Two days ago, I spent the evening with my cousins and their respective girlfriends plus a newborn baby boy. My cousins are twins and 15 years older than me and both live in London too. They kindly accommodated me and helped me out when I first moved to London some seven months ago. After that, I’ve rarely seen them since.

It was really lovely to see them again. We had drinks and ate lovely food in a rather opulent hotel restaurant near Embankment. It was all very civilised and enjoyable and, for the first time, we’re really getting to know one another.

However, my contribution to the conversation and responses to their general questions of interest in my activity and life has really prompted me to assess my outlook on things. I felt like ‘Mr Gloom’. Nothing was good enough for me. I moaned about almost every aspect of my life and it became a running joke that I was rarely satisfied with anything. This is a somewhat embarrassing personality trait.

Come to think of it, most of the time I write a post on my blog it’s to moan about something. Even now, I’m moaning about myself...

Why am I always so disappointed with people and things?

Am I ungrateful and unappreciative and do I just generally enjoy moaning? Or, on the other hand, do I simply know what I want and, if I’m not getting what I want, I’m not satisfied with it? I’d prefer to be the latter, although that’s entering the kind of territory where one can be criticised as spoilt and selfish. Maybe I am a little selfish and maybe I can be a little spoilt (God only knows who’s around to spoil me though, other than myself)!

It was rather interesting to have highlighted this part of my personality. For a moment, I stopped short and looked at myself objectively and I cringed at what I was hearing myself say.

I think I need to remind myself to be grateful for the things I have in my life and to consider myself lucky to have achieved the things that I have so far.

Fantasy

It can hurt. Living in a dream and then realising that fantasy isn't real.

Is it laziness or a manifestation of boredom and the desire for newer and greater things?

I’ve always been a perfectionist and I’ve generally always been a hard worker – both academically and in my employment. I succeeded throughout my academic career and, thus far, can’t complain at my professional achievements. However, day by day, my career ambitions and job satisfaction crumble down around me. I’m trapped in a vicious cycle.

It’s like a weekly battle within me: the young and ambitious lawyer versus the free-spirit who wants to travel, spend time making the most of life and channelling energy into more creative projects with a hope that, once and for all, I will finally feel satisfied.

This constant battle isn’t new though; it’s ever present. The intensity of the feelings fluctuates. From time to time they may rest silently in abeyance. But, I know that they will return. It’s something that I cannot shut myself off from.

I feel like a broken record caught constantly repeating the same expressions of woe, misery, frustration and confusion. For this, I apologise. I just don’t know how to deal with the problem.

Giving everything up at once for a complete change of lifestyle is an incredibly huge choice to make and carries with it phenomenal risks. But, I am still young and nobody is dependent on me. Perhaps now is the time to take the jump.

I know that I take what I have for granted. It’s a fundamental flaw in my being. I am lucky. But, I long to feel more satisfied. I long for time to focus on enjoying life. I don't want to be immersed in the numbing and absurdly obscure daily routine. Have human beings really evolved over the years to find ourselves, in the 21st century, caught up in a daily cycle that ultimately revolves around the misery of working for money simply to 'make ends meet' whilst making even more money for somebody else in the process? Don’t we all deserve to enjoy our individual presence, identity, life, opportunities and choices? Shouldn’t we be able to give things up, make mistakes, learn from our mistakes and take risks all in the name of searching for happiness, to be content and to enjoy every last minute that we have of our precious and short time on Earth?

Maybe I’m being naive. It’s possible that my thoughts are still clouded by childlike dreams of living in blissful happiness. But, I’d rather attack life with childlike naivety and learn from my mistakes than survive (un)comfortably within a box that society built for me.

Ideally, I wouldn’t have to work at all. However, this is, on the whole, an unrealistic prospect as, much to my dismay, we all need money. Thus, seeking employment that provides job satisfaction is key to a happier life.

Herein lies the problem. What career will give me complete job satisfaction? Will I ever feel satisfied? Am I just getting lazier and lazier as I grow or are my feelings genuinely well founded and simply a manifestation of boredom and the desire for newer and greater things?

The Daily Rat Race

A rat race is for rats. We're not rats. We're human beings. Reject the insidious pressures in society that would blunt your critical faculties to all that is happening around you, that would caution silence in the face of injustice lest you jeopardise your chances of promotion and self-advancement. This is how it starts, and before you know where you are, you’re a fully paid-up member of the rat-pack. The price is too high. It entails the loss of your dignity and human spirit. Or as Christ put it, “What doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world and suffer the loss of his soul?" - Jimmy Reid.

Reality is OK for a short break away, but I wouldn't want to live there.

An update and a birthday...

You're ridiculously overdue a blog update...sorry.

Although, there have been no ripples during my period of absence which generally gives me the impression that nobody noticed nor cared. Standard.

However, whilst pretending that somebody is reading this and does care, I'll continue.

I've been working and living in London for nearly six weeks now. It has been incredible so far.

I always loved London. But, living here gives me a sense of pride and achievement. There's a 24-hour buzz that I longed for. The pace of life is so much faster and I find it exhilarating. Each morning, no matter how tired I feel or how grey the day has begun, the walk over Vauxhall Bridge on my way to the office revives my spirit. The incredible view across the River Thames. The sight of the Houses of Parliament, Big Ben, the London Eye and the Gherkin.

I just hope my love of the city doesn't fade. I hope my experiences only get better. I hope to meet more new and interesting people and discover more of the city's beautiful, hidden treasures.

I must go out with my camera and take more photographs to feature on a blog.

Tomorrow, I'm due to return back home to Manchester. It's my 23rd birthday on Monday and the weekend will be spent catching up with family and, hopefully, some friends.

Happy Birthday to me. :-)

Thanks for reading.

Spring Time in Britain

Yesterday, Good Friday, was the most beautiful day of the year so far.

The good weather opened my eyes to just how truly beautiful the English countryside is.

If the weather was warmer year round (or at least guaranteed throughout the Summer months), there would be less of a desire to escape to foreign countries...

These are just a few photographs I took (again, using Instagram!).

 

 

 

Some pretty pictures...

I took the below photographs during my short holiday in Gran Canaria (March 2011) using Instagram, a pretty cool photography app for the iPhone.

Beautiful, eh?

A New Chapter In My Life?

It has been a while since I last posted on my blog as I have been really busy over the past few weeks.

I've had a lot of work on, which has occupied much of my time. I also enjoyed an absolutely incredible trip to Gran Canaria in March. The weather was beautiful, the people were so friendly and the holiday was short but perfect. It was an ideal escape away from the stresses back home.

Spring has well and truly arrived in England. Whilst there have been the usual overcast days, chilly winds and rain, we've also enjoyed some stunning weather. It's great to see the days becoming longer, the buds on the trees growing and the blossom and flowers blooming.

Moving on to the main purpose of this post...it's with great pleasure that I announce some exciting news. I've recently secured a job in London and, all being well, I am due to move down in early May!

I've written regularly about my love of London and big cities, so I'm just really really excited to move down. Hopefully, it's a step further in my career and I'm really looking forward to starting.

The pessimistic part of my inner-self is concerned with events occurring that might prevent me moving down...I am crossing my fingers and hoping that everything goes to plan!

I'll keep you updated...!

The Lake District

 Accessible via a relatively simple route directly along the M6 Northbound motorway, this area of incredibly outstanding natural beauty awaits you in all its pure and untouched wilderness.

The Lake District is a mountainous region in Cumbria, North West England. The central, most visited area of the region forms 'The Lake District National Park', one of the largest National Parks in the United Kingdom. The National Park was formed in 1951 to protect the landscape from the imminent threat of spreading industrialisation that was bound to have destroyed parts of this magnificent display by Mother Nature.

As well as being home to a huge expanse of lakes (more commonly known as 'waters' or 'meres' in this area), the mountainous region contains some of the highest peeks in England.

The highest mountain in England, Sca Fell, can be found overlooking one of my favourite areas in the whole district, Wasdale Valley (the pictures above are taken at Wastwater with a view to Wasdale Head).

Wastwater is located in Wasdale Valley and is the deepest lake in England. Looking out from the lake towards Wasdale Head is one of the most magnificent and breathtaking sights to be found in England, in my humble opinion. Wasdale Head is a tiny agricultural community, home to one of the smallest churches in England (and, apparently, once home to the biggest liar in England!), located at the head of the lake and is dominated by the imposing mountains surrounding the village. Such mountains include Great Gable, Kirk Fell, Pillar, Scafell Pike and, of course, Sca Fell.

The journey to Wastwater isn't easy. There are very few routes leading to the valley and the journey features long, narrow and winding tortuous mountain roads. However, it is completely worth the trip - both for the experience of the journey, the stunning scenery en route and the striking and jaw-dropping panorama.

If the tiresome journey, incredible views and strenuous walk throughout the region has taken the breath out of you, don't forget to enjoy a drink at the Wasdale Head Inn!

I'm In Desperate Need Of A Holiday

I feel like this Winter has been drawn-out, endless and harsh.

I'm tired of the long, dark nights.

I'm tired of the bitter winds.

I'm tired of the cold.

I miss the warmth of the sun.

I need to escape to warmer climes to feel the rays beaming on my skin.

I want to hear the waves slowly crashing against the shore and feel the grains of sand between my toes.

I'm in desperate need of a holiday.

Life

The innocence of childhood is precious.

As we grow older we become exposed to reality. The true realities of life can be difficult to register.

Mankind has its flaws. Greed, jealousy, deceit, to name but a few.

Birth ultimately results in death.

Life is an incredible gift. Something which we should all treasure and try our damnedest to enjoy. Unfortunately, life can also throw the most unexpected twists and turns that veer us off track.

Why do good people suffer? Why do some people sail through life with little hardship while others find their time on Earth filled with torment and misery?

I arrived in the office on Monday morning to receive some news that stunned me. A colleague's husband had tragically died whilst they were walking together over the weekend. He wasn't ill. He missed his footing whilst they walked and fell and hit his head on a rock in the ground.

I can't process this sort of tragedy in my head. Moments earlier they were walking together, completely unaware of what was around the corner. One minute he was alive and well, the next he had been tragically stolen from her life.

There's no positive conclusion to today's post. However, the usual cliché applies; enjoy yourself and live life to the full.

So, An Article I Wrote Was Published In The Legal Executive Journal...

A couple of months ago, Neil Rose, editor of The Legal Executive Journal, enquired as to whether there were any ILEX (the Institute of Legal Executive) Members on Twitter...I promptly responded as a proud recent Graduate Member of ILEX. It's Rhys Bevan G.Inst.L.Ex, don't you know ;-).

He asked me to write a short article about why I use Twitter...and, of course, I did. I love writing. I love Twitter. I love the law. It was a perfect opportunity for me...

My efforts paid off and my article has been featured in the February issue of the Legal Executive Journal - hurrah!

I'm developing a keen interest in journalism so it was a proud moment to see my article in print...even if they did call me 'Rhys Evans'!

Anyway, my contribution to the article on Social Networking can be found below. Unfortunately, I cannot post a link to the whole article because it's only available online to ILEX Members.

Twitter. A social networking service used by millions of people worldwide to share their thoughts in 140 characters or less. The idea is simple and its simplicity is probably a large factor in its colossal success. The service is used by celebrities and us common folk alike and it is the only place on earth where one can say “I’m following you” without sounding like a stalker.

With, at the time of writing, 3,300 individual tweets, I can certainly claim to be an avid user of the service. The experiences of days out with friends, trips to the cinema, receiving excessively overpriced parking tickets and the effects of suffering from a hangover are mere fiction until I’ve tweeted about them to my 160-something ‘followers’ – who, I have absolutely no doubt, can’t live without knowing every intricate detail of my personal life and inner-most thoughts.

What’s more, Twitter has provided me with the perfect virtual platform upon which I can stand before an invisible audience and shout and scream about my frustrations and anxieties and pretend that people actually care. This has proved to be almost as good a de-stressing technique as a hot bath before bed!

However, apart from tweeting 140-character anecdotes and occasionally making contact with friends and other ‘followers’ using the service, Twitter can be beneficial both to one’s personal interests and professionally.

Twitter leads the way with real-time news feeds. A vast number of news corporations use the service to deliver breaking news and link their followers to new articles within minutes of the event taking place. If a story hasn’t broken out on Twitter within a few hours, it probably isn’t worth reading.

For the legal profession, Twitter has a number of benefits. Practitioners can ‘follow’ firms, legal journalists and lawyers and keep up to date with the law and read reports and legal opinions. The Guardian Law’s Twitter account (@gdnlaw) provides daily legal updates and often publishes important court judgements.

Used wisely, Twitter can also be a great tool for law firms to reach out to new and varied clientele and make use of the free advertising opportunities.

If you haven’t joined Twitter yet, you’re missing out. Not only does Twitter allow us to unashamedly talk about ourselves as often as we like, it also keeps people informed of breaking news and can increase an individual’s awareness of important issues. Twitter engages people and encourages communication and freedom of speech and for this, I applaud the creators.

Admittedly, I struggle to understand how a service like Twitter survives in the commercial world in its current format as there aren’t many obvious features that I can identify as a reliable revenue stream, unlike Facebook. There are few advertisements and the service is free to use. I just hope that, in a bid to start making profit, the creators don’t change Twitter too much and detract from its simplicity.

How long will Twitter last and is it just another fad? We all remember what happened to MySpace. Provided that the creators stick as closely as possible to the original business model, I believe Twitter has longevity and I will certainly continue to enjoy my daily tweets!

Caramel

I'm conscious that recent blogs have detracted from the travel theme that is intended to be prevalent within my 'Nomadic Behaviour' blogsite. However, I have found myself subject to an irresistible desire to share a song with you.

'Caramel' is the tenth track on John Grant's debut solo album, Queen of Denmark.

The song captured me from the moment that I first heard it and I have been playing it on repeat ever since.

'Caramel' is an impossibly stunning love song and John Grant's vocals serve to provide a heightened level of warmth to the already beautiful lyrics and music.

One cannot fail to notice that the lyrics describe John Grant's love of another man. Whilst openly homosexual, Grant achieves something that adds further depth to the song by embracing his homosexuality as opposed to fitting into the convention of heterosexual love songs. Even in the 21st century, such lyrics are still, I believe, a rareity and it's actually very beautiful to hear.

Let me know your thoughts.

I hope you enjoy the song as much as I.

Caramel*

My love is the rarest jewel and he crowns me with his love,

My love, he is rich like caramel and he moves me from above,

He sees me with Tigereye eyes and that's where I make my home,

His heart is a shield which protects me from the vilest foe,

His smile's an elixir which heals the wounds of my darkest years,

When my love is quiet, I consider him and he drives away my fears.

My love, he reveals himself with tenderness and grace,

My love has constructed, with his arms, for me the safest place,

His laughter destroys my doubts and lifts me up so high,

His voice it is soothing like a warm breeze on a summer night,

When he envelops me, I give myself to him and my soul takes flight.

RB x

* John Grant has personally e-mailed me in response to this post (I sent a link to his publicist) and corrected some mistakes in the lyrics. Thus, they've been amended accordingly and are correct as proofread by the artist himself! What an honour!

The James Corden Debacle

The past couple of days have certainly been an interesting experience in my continuing love affair with Twitter.

I perceive myself to be no more than a standard tweeter. I am, genereally, neither overly controversial nor mind-numbingly boring. I tweet about my life in general and occasionally comment on popular culture (a.k.a "what's on the telly")...although, this is far and few between as I tend to make little time to sit down and watch the television (I have better things to do than watch some of the shit that is broadcast to us and often get offended at how unintelligent and simple to please TV producers believe the viewing public are...note "The Magician" on BBC One last weekend!!).

I had 180 followers prior to the 'Cordengate Saga' and I like to think that I've forged some kind of 'online friendship' or 'online acquaintanceship' (in case 'friendship' is taking it a little too far!) with several of the tweeters with whom I have fairly frequent contact.

I don't look up to any celebrities and have little interest in what they're doing. The few celebrities that I have chosen to follow have normally been 'unfollowed' shortly after due to their being rather dull. They're too busy either replying to obsessive fans, promoting new material or ensuring that they don't say anything too controversial so as not to create a media furore or get sued (like the unfortunate Courtney Love). On the whole, 'celebrities' are generally quite boring to follow and I have little interest in celebrity culture.

Instead, I prefer to follow journalists, music-related tweeters (such as Pop Justice, who I find to be constantly interesting and witty to follow) and 'real people' who I believe to lead interesting lives or have similar interests to myself.

On Thursday, I was going about my day as normal and discovered the news that James Corden had signed a contract to host the Brit Awards for the next three years. My immediate reaction was, for whatever reason,...*roll my eyes and cringe*. Thus, commenting on it as anybody else may have done, I tweeted "As if the Brit Awards weren't bad enough, they just got a whole lot worse. I despise James Corden". Nobody commented on what I had said and I proceeded as normal with the remainder of my day - no biggie.

Then, I got an e-mail sent directly to my BlackBerry. Then another. Then another and another and another and another. They were Twitter notifications that I had new followers. Obviously, I was left bemused by my sudden influx of followers. I recall my last tweet had been "Would you rather regret the thing you did or the things you didn't do?"...my initial thought was that somebody must have retweeted it and it caught a few people's attention (we all know how lots of Twitter users have an unusual obsession with thought-provoking or motivational quotes - see the daily Top Tweets as evidence).

I logged onto Twitter, visited my retweets and discovered the truth...James Corden had 'retweeted' my tweet claiming to "despise" him (I didn't even know he was on Twitter).

I won't talk about why he sits searching his name on Twitter and reading through what people think of him - it's all rather self-indulgent or incredibly insecure, I'm not sure which applies in this case. Plus, as a TV personality, you'd surely expect people to either love you or hate you. He claims to be a 'shocked' by it. But, really, I am very cynical about this. If I was in the public eye, I'd be quite clear from the start that some people won't get me. That's a given. Few people can be loved by all. One usually has to die in order to achieve this status.

I suffered a torrent of abuse from his fans for 24 hours. It was hilarious for the first few hours. I was in complete disbelief but it made for a very funny and interesting read. I'm sorry to say it, but people can be incredibly sad and far too involved with celebrity culture - these people need to take a look at their lives and see where it's going wrong. I had a large number of messages simply calling me a "twat" or a "knob". All for what? Having an opinion that they didn't agree with? I was obviously mislead in my belief that England was a modern, democratic society where freedom of thought and free speech were fundamental human rights. I chose not to reply to any of them. I wasn't lowering myself to their levels and I certainly wasn't entering into arguments with people over James Corden. I care too little about him to waste such energy.

Now, for the use of the word "despise". I have a few comments to make on this. "Despise" does appear, in hindsight, to be a little strong. I do not despise James Corden. However, I also refuse to apologise. There's a saying that 'hate is a strong word'. However, this doesn't stop people, including myself, claiming to hate something that, in reality, they just don't like that much. The severity in the use of the word 'hate' has been lost over the years. People do not just use it in order to portray a feeling of extreme and intense emotional dislike, anger or hostility. If somebody claims to 'hate pizza', I doubt they feel overly hostile towards pizza. It is in this very same context that I used the word 'despise'.

How could I possibly actually detest, despise or hate a gentleman that I do not know? I merely do not appreciate him as a TV personality. I believe he was great in Gavin and Stacey (although, I only saw a couple of episodes myself). However, with the few programmes that I have seen him on, I have found him to be (harsh but true) either annoying or arrogant. The last time he presented the BRIT's with Matt Horne and Kylie Minogue, I couldn't continue watching it. He simply does not entertain me and I am entitled to be of that opinion. My dislike of him as a TV personality has absolutely no reflection on him as a person. Unless I knew him, I could never comment on him as a person.

Many of his 'fans' responded to me by stating that I simply shouldn't watch it. But, they missed the point entirely. I won't be watching the BRIT Awards and I was never planning on watching the BRIT Awards. I simply made a flippant comment in passing to my followers, most of whom didn't care less. I didn't direct it at his personal Twitter account and had no knowledge that he was even on Twitter. People claimed I had done it to "make the news" or to "get attention". But, really, when you look at the facts, I think it's quite obvious that I had no idea anybody would read it other than my few followers.

Had James Corden read the comment and simply chosen to ignore it, he wouldn't have created such a fuss. I mean, the response by the media was ridiculous to say the least. Somebody tweeted me to inform me that a news article about the situation which directly quoted my tweet, had been featured as the main headline on yahoo.co.uk and said article had, when I visited it, received 884 comments (many of which were unnecessarily nasty towards James Corden on a personal level)! Why do people care so much!?! It's all a bit too pathetic and laughable.

I would ask why James Corden felt the need to retweet the comment? Was he really that offended? There were far worse things said on Twitter than what I said. Or was it his intention to create some publicity for himself and the BRIT awards? Moreover, perhaps he had a good idea that I would be subject to a torrent of abuse from his fans and condones such behaviour towards people?

Nevertheless, I would also thank him. It's been quite a fun two days... ;-)

Travel Versus A Career

I'm being plagued by the desire to leave my career, escape to new lands, to experience new cultures and to visit the world around me. Coincidentally, Lonely Planet posted a link on Twitter to an article, 'Travel vs Career: does it have to be all or nothing?'. It provoked my thoughts further.

There was a forum where somebody had posted the question 'Who has given up a "career" for a life of travel?'. I found some of the responses to be incredibly profound.

"Who could ever regret spending their life travelling? It's the people who spend all their lives consumed by work and motivated by money, gadgets and possessions who will feel regret."

"Would you rather regret the thing you did or the things you didn't do?"

Food for thought.

RB x

A Lovely Start To The New Year

There were 8 hours until we were to cross over into 2011 and I was driving along the M62 towards the North East. It's a long, boring and monotonous drive - especially when a large section of the motorway is unlit in the evening - and I absolutely always struggle to stay awake on the journey! Thankfully, I was accompanied by three lovely friends who were able to keep me entertained for the duration of the trip.

My New Years' Eve was being spent in Chop Gate, North Yorkshire with my friend and her family, who have recently taken over a Country Pub/Bed and Breakfast called 'The Buck Inn' (shameless plug, but you should definitely visit the website by following this link).

The weekend consisted of great food, great company, laughter, alcohol and trips around the area - including a day trip to Robin Hood's Bay and Whitby on the East Coast and a trip to York.

It was sad to have to return home and, more distressingly, return to work! However, I was glad to have enjoyed such a fantastic and long Christmas break surrounded by my favourite friends and family!

Happy New Year, once again.

Above: A picture that I took at Robin Hood's Bay on the East Coast of Yorkshire.